[Days 95 - 96] Our Christmas Story

Bali around Christmas: E-V-E-R-Y S-I-N-G-L-E shop plays Christmas carols, but not traditional renditions, they play Asian techno remixes, which are mostly too fast, very loud, and horrible. Most vendors also where Santa hats, despite the fact they're Hindu and the weather is hotter than Jessica Alba's ass. __
Christmas was around the corner and things were a bit lonely. Bradon was in an internet cafe and randomly met these 2 girls from Carlsbad (30 yrs old). They said they had a friend living in some crazy villa in the hills near Kuta (the club district), and they planned to spend Christmas day there. They invited us to join, which beat the hell out of our original plan to get plastered on the beach.

Christmas Eve. We pull into a cheap Kuta hotel, get settled, and chill. Next morning I rise early. The sun is out so I go read poolside. A Swedish girl finds a nearby lounge chair. We start talking, she's nice, and remarks her homesickness. I invite her and her friend to tag along. Anyways, at noon, Brado, me, the Swedes, and the Americans get into a van-taxi and high-tail it to the hills. We arrive this villa—good gawd! The place is straight outta MTV Cribs. Massive, on a mountain that overlooks the entire coastline. We walk in and 2 happy servants inquire what we like to drink. Then the friend arrives (supremely kind woman) and gives a tour. Turns out she's an interior designer... you can't imagine how cool the 'massage room' looked. Much of the house is elegantly decorated with festive things, for example, in the small hut that hovered above the infinity pool, there was a baby Christmas tree. Our party was 9 all together—our group of 6, the couple who lives there, and their wonderful friend who is living in Southern Japan. The girls wore angel costumes while the men (brad, me, and the man of the house, who was a 50-yr-old rockstar of finance) wore santa hats. Everyone gets acquainted over cocktails around the pool. 1 of the house dogs smokes cigarettes: when someone exhales smoke, it runs over and bites the air. Then we all sit down for a gourmet Balinese brunch. Then we had a 'White Elephant' gift exchange, which is where everyone put a present into a pile, then take turns unwrapping. If you dont like a gift you can trade it with someone. Most were gag gifts... You know how in Mexico, there are countless stalls selling exactly the same thing? And it's usually something weird and worthless? It's the same in Bali. During that time, 1 such item was a wooden-cock & balls-bottle opener—penis sizes ranging from index finger to forearm. Naturally, this stupid thing was my White-Elephant gift. I went for the medium-size black one. I just so happened that 1 of the Carlsbad girls bought the same thing. After both were opened, the girls used them for a sword fight... cockfighting angels on Christmas... haha what the hell. We finish off the afternoon swimming, drinking, eating, and definitely being merry. After sunset, the Swedes and us go to a nightclub and rage the night away. We left Bali the next afternoon... Ratings & Reactions Bali [1-10:Terrible-Terrific] Language Barrier: most can speak smiling-shattered english 7 Locals: 10 Women: 7 Food: 7 Nightlife: 7 Top 3 highlights: 1)Ubud 2)Uluwatuu surf 3)Bungeejumping in a nightclub

Grandma Gettıng LOW LOW LOW at the Club on Xmas night!!!