Vietnam- Sapa Village

HOT TRACKS...



And before I get into Sapa,I wanted to show you a typical intersection in Vietnam. They are an absolute joke as there are no traffic laws, well if there are no one follows them. Crossing the street is straight out of the arcade game Frogger...no joke!!!



We managed to runite at the hostel with most of our group from Ha Long. Of the group 6 amazing Aussies (Rob, Christian, Alice, Lizzie, Phoebe and Emily) and 1 South African who wasn't on the boat, but whom I'd explored Hanoi with a few days earlier, joined us on a 2-day trip to the hilltown of Sapa. We knew little else about Sapa than that tons of people told us we HAD to go, and that was all we needed to know.

An overnight train ride to a town just down the mountain from Sapa, which lies only 3 Kilometers from China. It was surprisingly comfortable. Each room had 2 sets of bunk beds, complimentary water and cookies and even your own private night light. Garrett and I were roomed with Lizzie and Alice. Lizzie is a tall, slender, soft-spoken elementary school teacher at home. Alice is a extremely upbeat, blonde Vetrenarian, and a semi-celebrity in Australia due to her recent stint on the reality show “Big Brother”. Both girls are stopping off in SE Asia for some vacation time before they head to London for a year or so to work and take on a change of scenery. On the ride up we really get to know eachother and come to find out what stellar girls they really are. So stellar in fact we end up traveling the length of Vietnam together.

We arrive the town squinty-eyed at about 5am and could feel a big drop in temperature. We find a van to fit us all and barter the price down with the driver for a solid 10 minutes, which is pretty standard in Vietnam. After a foggy, over-priced ride up the mountain, we're taken to a hotel which we had no intention on stayting at, probably the drivers Aunt or something. We kindly tell the driver to drop us in the city's center and he complies. It's about 6am at this point, and the small town is still, lifeless as we walk the streets looking for a place to stay. The weather in Sapa is pretty brutal, it is near freezing and the air is extremely moist, which only heightens the frigidness. While checking out a hotel, Alice befriends some girls from a nearby village, being the friendly, outgoing person she is. Before you know it we are all sitting is a cafe having hot cocoa with a group of village girls as Alice had offered to treat them all.

These little girls where between the ages of 6-12, and were all incredible. Despite having no foreign languages taught at their schools, each of them spoke perfect English and French. They informed us that they learned everything from tourists, which is mind blowing to me! I mean, Ive grown up around Spanish speakers my whole life, but it never sunk in 1 bit; I still get the “awwww thats cute, he's trying (but he sucks)” laugh when I try to converse with Spanish people. I absolutely love kids and I have seen some cute kids in my day, but these were among the cutest I have seen in my life. They were just so full of life, talking non-stop and always giggling. They were like minature adults at the same time though, they were all so quick and sassy even.

The kids ended up inviting us to their village and we gladly accepted. We knew they were probably sent into town to pick up tourists, but we couldnt resist their cuteness (we later found out they all woke up at 3am to take the 2 hour hike into town in the freezing dark). After checking into our hotel, a quick shower and breakfast, we were ready to rock. But before we left, some of our group wanted to buy gumboots to prevent them from the slippery surfaces we would be facing on the hike to their village. The kids took us around to different shops and bargained like grown women with the shopkeepers for us. They made us storm out of 2 stores because at they put it, “They trying to rip you off because they think you are stupid tourists, but you are our friends!” But the 3rd store was a charm and we got a good deal on the boots thanks to our mini-tour guides. I felt like a Vietnamese version of Vince from the show Entourage as we cruised the streets with our new friends, I felt like we owned the town. We had a great amazing group of backpackers with us, and now we had recruited the coolest kids in the world to be our tour guides to their village for the day!

Our entourage began the chilly hike excited as could be, I think we all could feel it was going to be a great day! The hike to the village was nothing short of spectacular! As we made our way down the slippery valley, we were sourounded by mountains upon mountains of terraced rice fields! The cold air was still and I really could feel the serenity of our surroundings, it was beautiful! All of a sudden 1 of little Vietnamese Sherpas taps me on the leg and handed me a little horse that she made out of a fern leaf...what??? After that the kids made us all hats out of fern leaves that Ceasar himself would be jealous of! I didnt think these kids could get any more rad or cute, but they managed to do so with their Fern-leaf voodoo magic. They were like those clowns at the parties who make balloon animals, minus the creepy factor!

After about 2 hours descending through the valley, we arrived at the village. It was nothing more than a bunch of flimsy wooden huts, a school and more rice fields, but it was amazing to see it nonetheless. We were given a tour of 1 of the girls homes while the girls went and got all dolled up for lunch. The inside of the hut was as you could imagine, very basic, dark and dirty. Next we were led to another hut where we would have lunch with the family. We all sat around the table as massive amounts of rice, noodles and other stuff was piled onto the table. All of us sat their looking at eachother wondering when to start chowing down, but that was quickly resolved as the youngest/sassiest of the girls yelled to us grinning, “what are you waiting for...eat!”. It was settled, we began to fill our empty stomachs as if we had not eaten in days, we were all starving!

Once our delicious meal was finished, a bunch of village people with goods-in-hand filed in the room. We paid the girls nothing to be our tour guides and we paid less than $1 for an all you could eat lunch inside the home of true villagers, there had to be a catch! And this was it, once they had us cornered in their hut, they bombarded us with handmade goods and asked us to buy them all...aHA! Fair enough, I couldn't blame them though, they were just trying to survive like the rest of us. But I was not prepared for the brutal tactics the girls would use against us.

Each of the girls would come up to me and try and sell whatever it was they were selling and I would kindly tell them that I bought some stuff already and they would reply in the most whiney voice ever “why you buy from her, but you not buy from me!” They had plenty of more selling lines than that, but you get the drift; they were trying to use the friendships we had forged to make us feel bad and buy their products. I took everything with a grain of salt because I am positive their parents put them up to this and that they were doing what they were told. It was a bit disturbing when that thought crossed my mind that the kids had been acting the whole day and were just leading us to our slaughter the whole time. But when I thought about it more, I could tell the kids were really enjoying our company, as we were theirs; but they were just taking care of business at the end of the day and they really meant us no harm.

We slowly unhinged the jaws of the relentless sellers that had formed a cloud over us and we parted ways. The hike out of the village took about 10 minutes until we arrived at a group of dirtbike-taxis that would take us back to our hotel. I sadly said my final goodbyes to the girls and promised them I would be back 1 day to visit them with my future girlfriend or wife and they were very excited about the idea. The ride back to town was spectacular as well. I got to have a birds eye view of the valley our group had ascended ony a few hours earlier and it was a sight for sore eyes! And everytime I would pass a group of village kids making their ways back to the village I would yell “Hello!” and they would echo back in the happiest way ever, “Hellooooooo!”. It was the coolest game ever....Sapa is a magical place, go there!

On the 2nd day we all rented motorbikes and took an absolutley stunning/amusing ride to another village on the other side of town. The road was only about 6 feet wide and it wound like a snake between layers of cloudy hills and miles of primitive village. I felt as if I were in a motorcycle video game made by National Geographic or something because I was having the time of my life on my motorbike, while enjoying the unreal scenery that was flying past! After checking out the village we headed to a nearby waterfall which was very beatiful. On the way we posed with a massive water buffalo and that was that. Day 2 was over before we knew it and we had to leave this wonderful place called Sapa that we almost skipped to be honest.

The weather was perfect for our drive down the mountain. It allowed us to see the miles and miles of gorgeous rice-terraced mountians we had missed on the way up due to fog. What a perfect way to end a perfect trip to a perfect place with perfect people...life is beautiful!

Garrett giving chicken feet a try, he didnt go back for seconds!

View from Day 2

Ascending down to the Village

Alice buying all of her village girls Hot Chocolate

Day 2- Waterfall

Day 2

View from our balcony...we literally woke up in the clouds, so beautiful!


Our motorgang getting ready for a nice ride!

Lunch with a village family


Group photo at the bottom of the hill...what a crew we had!



Terraces rice fields that are abundant all over Sapa

Tour guides/coolest kids ever!

We rented out the entire fifth floor, one big happy family we were!

Train ride group shot on the way

I smell the village!

Mincks sporting his fern hat with pride!


And if you havnet seen this, get your dirty little paws on it ASAP!!!

Vietnam - Chinese New Year

............Hey so we're in Mostar, Bosnia at the moment and HO PHOW DAMN! It's crazy! today we were walking down the road, same road that during the war marked the front line, and we saw this spooky 7 story building, outside walls covered in bullet spray, inside walls sprayed in graffiti, every window shattered out, road in front speckled with little bomb craters, and said HEY Lets check it out! So we tip toed around the place for about an hour... along the walls there were countless bullet shells, glass shards, documents dating back to the 80s... we looked out the windows at once enemy lines, at buildings totally crumbling from craters, craters made by the bullet shells under our feet... whole place had a haunting vibe... and last night we partied in a club that was in a legitimate cave (a few bats were flying around inside, seriously) and I could go on and on about everything here and now but I won't, so here's what went down in Vietnam on Chinese New Year.............

Tet a.k.a. Chinese New Year a.k.a the day each individual grows a year older i.e. everyone celebrates their 'birthday' together... Hanoi is b-a-n-a-n-a-s! Peep the streets all day long with our Aussie friends from Ha Long Bay, walking around seeing every local in traditions like burning fake money in small fires (for ancestors). Others have potted orange trees strapped to their mopeds. The flower arrangements are innumerable and unforgettable. Then the streets vacate for at-home tradition, so we return to the hostel and get drunk. 10pm. Return the revving-up streets and make our way to an Irish Pub. It's crazy inside and every westerner wears a bright sombrero from our hostel. While getting fresh air outside, our Irish friend tries teaching us a jig.



Failing miserably at the Irish Jig

At 1130 we make our way to lakeside town square. 1 Aussie friend is very drunk. He sees a burning mound of money, thinks its a hazard and stomps it out! We're speechless then offer abashed apologies. Countless locals have mystic lanterns—round, hollow cubes of papyrus-like paper with Chinese caricatures painted fine; twined beneath is a candle, and when they ignite it, the heat floats the contraption right toward heaven, and these are everywhere, like watching newborn stars journey toward their kind. Then the fireworks began. Our friend was a bit too drunk and I had to take care of him, which put an abrupt end to my night, but Bradon will take if from here.







Bradon's Remainder of the night...

Once I get to the lake I have officially lost EVERYONE I left the bar with in the commotion! I watched on as the fireworks exploded in the sky, all the while catching awkward stares and giggles from Vietnamese people. Rightfully so though, I am a head taller than everyone in the crowd, Im white and I am wearing a purple, yellow and green sombrero! Im waiting for the grand finale, but there is none...oh ya Im in Vietnam! After the minimal finally I begin my search for anyone I recognize. I see another sombrero in the distance and track it down! It is a Canadian guy I met at the hostel, sweet! We start wandering the streets looking for some others to join our crew. Then I spot a group of about 6 people from our Halong Bay boat trip...we are in business!



We all cling together as if we are lost in the desert. There are Vietnamese people everywhere and we dont want to get separated again. One of the Aussie girls announces she has a cool bar for us to go to and we follow her lead there. On the way we see Toby and Tom, some of the craziest guys Ive met on this trip, and they naturally join us. Our first stop is a dark dingy bar down a random back ally. People are smoking hooka everywhere and it strangely reminds me of what I imagine an opium den would look like. It is news years night in Vietnam and we are looking to get crazy, not chill out so we have a drink or two and quickly leave that bar. We shoot into the streets once again circa 1 am and the streets are pretty much desolate! Im am taken back because at home everyone would be hitting their stride, running wild in the streets. But I guess the fireworks are the end all be all for the Vietnamese on their new years, oh well.


An enthusiastic girl from the hostel

Not ready to lay down our swords yet we head to a nearby club to try an uphold our values of bringing in the new year right! The club turns out to be perfect, not too busy, not too big, great music, free entry and cheap drinks...game on! Our crew instantly takes over the dance floor and we begin to dance like there is no tomorrow! Toby and Tom, being the crazy kids they are, start pulling Vietnamese people up from the adjacent couches and making them dance with us. Some of them love it and have the biggest smiles on their faces as they celebrate with us; others are too shy and scurry back to their seats. 3am rolls around and the club begins to shut down, so a few of us make our exit while others stay behind. I strike up conversation with an English guy named Danny whom I met on the bus back from Vietnam. He tells me how he hit it off with this girl at the club we were just at. Turns out as he was dancing with her, a guy came up to him and told him to stay away from that girl because she was there with the Vietnamese Mob!!! Being a wise young chap, he complied and stayed away from her the rest of the night.

Well apparently that wasn't sufficient... as we walk back to the hostel, Danny's a bit scared and keeps his eyes peeled for potential danger. He notices a tinted silver Mercedes following us. I'm not sure what to do. Odds are really good (or really bad if you know what I mean) that it's the Mob—all locals drive motorbikes or, if they're lucky, an old shitty cars; tinted Mercedes belong to either Mobsters or politicians, or both.

Do we run? Do we act like we don't see them and don't want any problems? I choose the latter and tell him to act not look back and just keep walking. There is no need to panic, so I dont tell the others in the group that we are being followed by the Vietnamese Mafia. Panic would possibly indicate that our friend Danny did do something wrong, when in fact he didn't. I know we are about 5 minutes away from the hostel and Im praying to the good lord that we will all make it there safe and sound!

We turn down the alley where our hostel is to my relief. I can see our safe haven and it is the best feeling ever! Our pace quickens a bit and we duck into the hostel doors as Danny and I let out huge sighs of relief! But its not over yet, it turns out that Danny's room in the other part of the hostel which is across the alley, but the doors are locked! So we hang out in the lobby for a bit chatting about whatever comes to mind. I peer my head out the door to see if the doors are unlocked by chance and guess what I see? The silver Mercedes parked in the ally about 300 feet away, with two scary looking Vietnamese dudes leaning against it! I notify Danny that we aren't out of the woods yet. He begins to get really worried as one can imagine! I try to calm his nerves the best I can in my dreary state. Im so tired at this point and would love nothing more than to go to sleep, but I cant leave this poor guy by himself! 30 minutes pass and I give the ally another check, but the mobsters are still out there leaned up against their car, smoking cigarettes.

Another 30 to 45 minutes pass and dawn begins to present itself. I give the alley yet another check, but this time our prayers are answered; the coast is clear, the doors to the other side of the hostel are open! I try and muster as much joy as I can at this point and deliver the good news to Danny! His face lights up like a Christmas tree as he has dodged a huge bullet and he knows it! He thanks me for my help and sprints across the alley to safety. It is now 6am and my mind can barley grasp what just happened, but at least no one got hurt or killed. I thank my lucky stars and drag myself to bed...what a night!!!

Vietnam- Halong Bay

MAS MUSICA POR FAVOR!!!



"Put these on!" instructs the 25 year old drunken Aussie manager of our Hostel as he hands me a ridiculous yellow/purple sombrero, its OK though it takes me back to those whistle-blowing, tequila-chugging days in high school when we would escape to the land of 18 year old drinking laws! I throw it on with some gusto and parade down the ally with 30 some odd young backpackers I'm about to spend the next few days with. Mind you we are in Vietnam, and we are all wearing these stupidly amazing sombreros...needless to say we caught more than just a few stares.


7am on our way to Halong Bay

The group loads into transport vans and we meet some of the characters we will soon have a blast with. Toby and Tom, two INSANE Aussies who came straight from the set of Dumb and Dumber to make an appearance on this little trip of ours, but they have Aussie accents which just adds to the comedy. James, another Aussie with a twisted sense of humor and an infectious laugh and smile. Phoebe and Emily, two Aussie sisters who look not one ounce like eachother, but are sweet as can be and whom I could tell would be a lot of fun to party with! And Hila, the token Israeli of the group who caught the bitter end of some jewish jokes and references to the middle east, but we soon came to find out she just got out of the military so the jokes ceased as soon as we realized she could probably take all of us on!

The 3 hour ride starts out with a great vibe as the whole group is eager to see the world-famous Halong Bay. On the way we see 2 giant pigs wiggling like hell, tied to the back of a scooter just cruising down the highway like its no big deal...haha! The rest of the ride is filled with various travel stories and of course random conversation topics ranging from what 2 races would make the ugliest and prettiest offspring to Where Are They Now??? (an ongoing game that Garrett and I have come up with where you pose the question of where are famous actors and/or cartoon characters now). The winner for ugliest offspring was awarded to the awful mixture of a backwoods, grimey Siberian with an Mauri (native New Zealand people). Prettiest offspring was a no-brainer really, it was decided that a Swedish and Brailian would make the most attractive offspring.

Before we knew it we had arrived at the dock and we all piled out of the van with our hats securely fastened as the dock full of returning Halong Bay tourists watched and wondered what kind of drugs we were on! We were shown to our boat, which was a classic wooden, 3-story boat that just looked like it was born to be cruising around Halong Bay, it was perfect! Once we were all settled the group was called to the deck for our briefing on what the next few days would consist of. It was chilly but we would have to make due. After the briefing, everyone began to mingle and meet. There were kids from everywhere, Ireland, Australia, Israel, Sweden, Iceland, America, Canada and England. Seeing as we were all backpackers all converging on this boat from all around the globe, there was definitely no shortage of conversation topics and travel stories at any time!

Soon enough we entered the chain of nearly 2000 limestone islands that make Halong Bay the wonder that it is! Some big some small, some with tunnels and caves, but all a sight to see; each formation was beautiful in its own way. We passed these formations like you pass plastic surgery on Sunset Boulevard and it was amazing! After about an hour of staring in amazement at the passing islands, we arrived at our first destination. As we paired off into Kayaking partners I noticed that 3 row boats armed to the teeth with chips, cookies, soda and my favorite beverage, Vodka, had come up next to the boat and were attempting to sell everyone their snacks...now thats impressive! Watching these Vietnamese women barter prices from their tiny rowboats was just really funny to me for some reason, but I guess everyones got to make a living right?


World-class beauty at a world-class location




Floating Vietnamese 7-11




In our Kayaks we raced to get a closer view of the interesting rock formations that teased us for the past hour. We paddled through a cave and came out on the other side completely surrounded by massive limestone formations at least 200 ft. in all directions. The serenity in this bay was incredible, it was completey silent! And when there was a noise it would echo for a least 5 seconds or so, and yes we were those guys to ruin the serenity by yelling childish phrases...oops! After painting our faces with mud war-paint from the ocean floor we raced Team Canada to the viewpoint of the rock formation that looks like Snoopy sleeping (we won of course, are you surprised?).

Safety first!

The sun began to set so we all had to head back to the boat. After a much needed hot shower, we chowed down on an amazing 5-course meal! All those who didnt bring party favors onto the boat, purchased the local Honoi vodka from the rowboat ladies during dinner and it was then that I knew it would be a fun night! Once dinner was finished we didnt waste anytime getting into the drinking games. Ring of Fire (aka Kings Cup for those at home reading this) was the game of choice. It quickly got very sloppy in the room as our guide policed everyone and made sure they drank when a rule was broken. Once everyone was well hydrated, the tables were pushed aside, the ipod plugged in and our boat turned into a full-blown floating club, complete with lazers and a bar! Upstairs on the deck we had electro and house pumping and downstairs was the dancefloor with Top 40 blasting over the stereo. We sang and danced until about 4am, what a night!

The crew woke everyone up bright and early at 7am to many peoples dismay, including mine! I drag myself into the dining room for breakfast feeling like I got in a fight with a pirate/vodka bottle last night....wow I was hurting! But as I scan the room I feel a bit better as it is obvious pretty much everyone else is in the same boat as me, literally and metaphorically! Luckily Tom and Toby are in Dumb and Dumber form, providing the mornings' entertainment, drinking a few beers at 8am and letting the whole boat know who hooked up with who the previous night. The boat arrived at the biggest island, Cat Ba, and drops off the people who bought the 2 night package, which includes myself, Garrett, 4 Aussies, 2 Irish and the token Israli. We say our goodbyes to the rest of the group as they took off back to Hanoi.

We rode a transport-van to the national forest, got out and began trecking up a mountain. At the end of the hike was this sketchy rusty watchtower around 30 meters high I would guess. My better judgement told me not to climb the thing, but I saw a 10 year old kid do it, so being a man I had to. I cautiously climbed the narrow, shakey stairs as I fought off the vertigo and urge to climb right back down. The view was well worth it though, I'm super stoked I did it and even more stoked I lived to tell about it and of course show you all the pictures!


View from the watchtower


The sketchy tower of doom

After the beautiful hike, Garrett and I, plus 3 Aussies split off from the group to go rock climbing. We were each wisped away by our motorbike taxis through a beautiful lush green valley into the middle of nowhere. After lunch with a village family, we headed to the amazing limestone formations that we would be scaling very shortly. After about 2 minutes of instructions, we were thrown into the fire and told to “just climb to the top”! It was physically one of the most challenging things I have ever done, but at the same time one of the most rewarding! There were a few times during my first climb that I wanted to give up and times that I thought there was no way in hell I would make it to the top. But with some helpful hints from the instructor, the cheers of my fellow climbers and a bit of will power I finally made it to the top. As I looked out over the green field below, towering mountains in the backdrop, I let out a massive yell of triumph...one of my favorite moments of the trip by far!


A little video I shot as we tore through the valley on the way to go rock climbing...my driver was completely mental and got me there about 5 minutes before everyone else..haha!



This is how the pros do it...I have a whole new respect for these guys!

That night after dinner and drinks, the group sang karoke and Christian, 1 of the Australian kids cool and chilled out, revealed that he sings for musicals—like big time shows in Sydney! Haha random and needless-to-say he put on the most ridiculous rendition of the Pokemon theme song and other off-the-wall tunes. Legendary.

Wake next day, leave hotel, transport-van to the dock and embark for Hanoi. On the way, we stop at a floating village to buy some fish. Still can't believe people live out there!

[Days 120 - 121] Snake Hearts, TeiTei Throats, Monkey Brains

A song that everyone needs to hear...


Well, today's Tuesday June 9th. My lil sis Ali joined us 1 week ago, and we've initiated her into this wild life properly...Greece is a crazy place! I'm writing this in Athens, and the Bartender at our hostel said a couple months ago, police officers gunned down a kid and left him to die, and since that night, about every 2 weeks there is a riot. We've been seeing Greeks dressed in camouflage outfits... we thought they were military, but the bartender informed they're riot cops! The entire city is covered in grafitti... things like "fuck the police" written on monuments. Don't worry, it sounds much worse than it is, and in 20 minutes we're jumping on a charter bus bound for the infamous Pink Palace Resort on Corfu Island!
_________

*THE FOLLOWING IS PRIMAL! BARBARIC! THE VIDEO IS NO JOKE! IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH, DON'T WATCH IT! IF YOU'RE PART OF P.E.D.A., GET A LIFE! It was one of the supremely exotic times that really made it clear I was far away from home, and that people around the world live under much different standards, which, in itself, is awesome. I'm glad I did it, but don't ever need to do it again. Ever.

Day before Chinese New Year I go to 'Snake Village.' Minivan takes us 4 guys (1 New Yorker, 1 Colombian, 1 Englishman, me) down Hanoi's Broadway. He turns down a sidestreet and we see several half-finished 2 story buildings with dead snakes hanging on hooks. Park. Approach an open-air restaurant called 'Snake Village.' The entrance path is dirt, and the concrete walls were once painted white. Walk a few steps inside. We pass the kitchen—big doubledoor opening is doorless, revealing a long room; in the center is a long island with tile-counter-tops, above which meat hooks and preparing knives hang; 2 big plastic barrels stand in the back left corner. Laying on the ground in front of me is a tattered mesh sack filled with writhing snakes.

The hostess grabs my attention. She brings the 4 of us to a table, and on the way I see 5 big parties spread out around the restaurant, all of which are laughing loud, apparently having a grand 'ol time...

Hostess seats us with complimentary beer and a bottle of snake wine (snake wine is rice wine that they've fermented a snake in). We're manic, chain-smoking not sure what's going to happen. Hostess returns “you like snake cu' here or in back room?” Heya bring it here! and she smiles off to the kitchen.

Suddenly a man appears holding a flippant snake—right hand pinches the mouth while left grips the tail end. Another man appears with a jug of rice wine, then hostess appears with a stainless-steel tray, on which 2 tall glasses, 4 shooters, and a knife rest. The man holding the snake curls its head back, pours ricewine on the underbelly (disinfectant?), then slits it open. He wrings most the animals blood into a tall glass, then prys for the heart which drops into a shooter. He shows it to us still beating. The hostess adds rice wine, then offers it to drink—I grab it & feel the heart beat upon my tongue before I swallow: feel something uncanny, like in high school, just before gametime when your team is in the locker room, roaring and flexing and jumping, overwhelming yourselves in adrenaline... the pinnacle of that scene—a rush of pure testosterone or rabid strength—no feeling like it. Now I understand why war-tribes eat their enemy's hearts. Then the New Yorker gets offered the liver, and he does it quick and remarks a similar feeling. Hostess puts the glass of blood on our table and we do shooters of fresh snake blood, discuss the feeling, and chase everything with beer. The 3 employees return to kitchen and we just sit around trying to take in what just happened.

Suddenly a Vietnamese kid appears, early 20s, speaking English—many countries don't teach English in school: locals pick it up from tourists, and thereby love just talking for practice—this is overtly the case. He asks where we're all from, how we're enjoying his country, etc, then explains how he's at another table with his father's friends. He inquires about the restaurant, and we communicate astonishment—he cracks up. After a few minutes he returns to his table.

Hostess appears with a tray of dishes. She sets down a bowl says “Snake skin soup” oh great thanks! She sets down another bowl “Snake bone soup” oh wow thanks! a dish “Fry snake skin” Mmm great! another dish “Snake skin in rice leaf” perfect! a final dish “Grill snake rib” alright! We sample everything and it's all good, the freshest meat possible. Then the Vietnamese kid returns “Hey guy follow me.”

We walk to kitchen entrance. A group of locals stand in a circle. I squeeze through to catch the action—a man is holding the tail of an armadillo-like animal (kid calls it a TeiTei)—hard plated skin, squat round body, long snout, brown, terrified so it's trying to roll into a ball, but the guy's gripping it's tail so it's only capable of rolling half way. A line of blue paint marks it's spine. All the locals are joking and talking pub-like. Employee sets critter on ground, and it rolls up quick, so he kicks it like a soccer ball, then another man nudges it back, and they're all laughing as do this over and over. We're obviously weirded out. Employee picks it up again, then yo-yos it right at me! and I freak out thinking I'm gonna get bit, but the poor TeiTei's so scared it can't open it's mouth, it just returns to a half-ball.
“Fuck this shit” return to the table, manic chain-smoking not sure what's going to happen. 10 minutes pass. Shooters of snake-wine. 20 minutes. Kid appears again and we laugh out awkward responses “Haha OK guy follow me” what.

We return to the kitchen. Same scene: circle of locals watching hellraiser hold the terrified TeiTei. Then another guy brings a knee-high red bucket and big butcher knife, which hellraiser picks up and conks the animal on the head. It unrolls limp so he holds it over the bucket and gorges open it's jugular, blood gushes out filling bucket more than 6 inches high. Another man adds rice-wine, and carries the concoction to the kid's table. Woah.

We return to our table, and shortly after kid appears to invite us over. Now around his table, he informs that the men are his father and uncles, all of whom are drunk as us. The kid talks to them in Vietnamese, I assume explaining how we feel about the whole thing because when he finished, they all looked at us and howled. They pour us each a TeiTei blood shooter and down the hatch it goes. Cool guys! Thanks for the hospitality!


We return to our table stunned. After a few words, I walk to the kitchen and see a woman removing the TeiTei from a boiling pot. It's ghost white, and they start skinning it. I almost chuck and return to my table. After 30 minutes, hostess walks by us carrying a large tray. Shorty after, the kid appears with the same tray, says it is the animal and invites us to try it, and it's great. Then we get really smashed.

I wake next day and go downstairs for free breakfast. A hostel employee, a guy from Colorado, remarks my mangled appearance and asks how my night was. I tell him the story and he says “Yeah man we go there often actually. Free booze. Cheap food. We're all immune to the snake stuff. Never heard of 'em doing that with that animal, but I'm not surprised. You should check out the dog district.” Bro you're kidding me the 'dog district'? “Yeah man, they got skinned dogs hangin on meat hooks for you to buy. But that's not even the worst part. Apparently dog meat tastes best when it's full of adrenaline, so the butchers scare the shit out of the dogs right before they kill them.” Woah. So you live in Hanoi. Bet you've seen some crazy stuff. Tell me a story amigo. (the following situation was first told to me by a Danish guy when we were in New Zealand, and 2 months later, in Cambodia, an Australian girl would tell me her uncle actually did it)
“Last month I met up with 5 buddies in Hong Kong. They'd been backpacking through South China and were at the end of their trip, and they told me that in this remote town, they all ate dinner at a Benihanna-style restaurant. Check it out: they sat around the table with several locals. In the center of the table was a big empty pot heating on a burner. All of a sudden they brought out a live monkey and threw it in the pot! They latched a lid and let the monkey bake and it was screaming and scrambling as it died, and during this the locals were drinking being careless and merry. Then, right when it the pot went silent, an employee pulled out the dying monkey, sliced it's brainstem, cut open the scalp and they ate the brain while it was still alive. It was safe because the blood had gotten so hot it boiled the animal's inside.”

Amazing.

[Days 117-118] Vietnam sucks at first impressions

Hanoi airport. 11pm after the 2-hour time change. Already we notice how different things are, the differences between Japan & Vietnam versus America & Vietnam are astounding... big immediate culture shock—disoriented—clueless of currency exchange—gotta hostel name but no idea where it is relative to the airport, i.e. no idea how much we should pay for a cab: not good—in poor countries, locals feel entitled to your money, like you owe them something, and you should give them a ridiculous amount of money because you're a foreigner and 'wealthy'—we're exhausted, in a daze from the many changes, not to mention the plane flight, running on curious adrenaline from entering a new country... SOUTH EAST ASIA! FINALLY!

Go through customs and grab packs. Still inside international terminal, we see glass exit doors leading to public. A deep crowd of locals vibrate beyond those doors, staring through—taxi drivers standing on balls of feet with eager smiles, rigid men with awkward faces holding welcome signs (“Welcome to Hanoi Mr. Sciacqua”), families intently waiting for their kin, old lonesomes already jumping for arriving friends.

We're first to trudge through—automatic doors open, mug whooshes against my face—crowd explodes in yaps as a path parts, every eye fastens to us, every welcome sign points at us, a guy grabs my arm “Taxi?” so I push him. Then a kid age'd early 20s walks up holding a business card, he smiles “Taxi?” looks legit so I say Ya, Hanoi Backpackers? “Ya sure les go!” OK cool. Where's an ATM? “I take you der now!” OK cool, and he starts cracking jokes so we're all laughy drunk on bewilderment.

Follow him outside and ask the price, fully prepared to tell him to screw off. “40Km, 80,000Dong [US$5].” Total? “Ya sure! Vietnam cheap!” Great! We climb in his car and 2 local guys are there “Oh dees my friend is OK man, Backpackers righ' les go!” So off we romp and he's blaring house music—after the mellowness of Kyoto it sounds great, and all 3 guys start singing along and dancing, the driver is honking at the night, so we join in crazy laughing along. They stop and buy rounds of beer. How much do we owe you dude? “Ah no is OK Hanoi cheap cheap!” Cool thanks man! The kid starts raving about the local girls and clubs and invites us out for the night, enthusiastic for wild times we agree.

Beers finished now gripping empty cans, then the locals toss theirs on the racing by street. Woah man what are you doing? “Is OK man they clean street every night. You in Hanoi man! Is OK!” Whatever bro! So out they go onto the road and now we're in downtown and I notice litter n the gutters and sidewalk. Arrive grimey looking hotel with 'Backpackers' frost-painted on the windows... definitely not our hotel but we say SCREW IT! check in quick, ditch bags and re-enter car. 1AM. Off we romp again driver now raving about karoke bars & after Japan we're stoked for it, so we ride across this big bridge to a dark part of town, everywhere seems closed & the streets are deserted but they insist on a good place with great girls “BOOM BOOM!” realize they've been talking about prostitutes so we promptly chuckle to him we're not interested, say it's late and we just want some food, so off we go, return over bridge to main part of town, to outdoor market oozing cheap prices.

They order everything, explain the 5 of us will split the cost. Cool man show me some Vietnamese food! Beer and vodka gets ordered. Out comes 2 pots of boiling vegetables, spices, and plated raw meet. The guys start throwing fixings in pots, including chicken heads... What's that bro?! “Is OK man is good trus' me!” We taste the heads.. horrible but “when in rome” right...



Craziness carries on then guys present us the check... it's 4 million Dong. We drunk on booze and chicken-eye and don't understand the exchange rate. We do blurry calculations and discover we don't have enough—tell guys to cover the rest and they say they did, we say Must be too much and they say they'll call the police to make us pay.

Wake next day with a throbbing head. Outside out window is a ridiculous intersection, which turns out to be like most of the intersections in the country; completely chaotic and lacking any rhyme or reason at all...

Remember last nights debacle and sober calculations reveal we paid those f-f-f-fucking fucks US$300... we got hosed. GRAAH!

Later that day, after calming down, Bradon reads in Lonely Planet a warning that details locals doing exactly what happened to us. GRER. It hurts but teaches valuable lesson: natural roughness toward every local. In Bali we were kind and blindly sympathetic to poverty levels. Now we're cold-hard. Beggars, aggressive salesmen, bidding vendors... screw 'em all.

We check out and walk 45 minutes across town and see just 2 non-asians—like an omen this tattered backpacker walks up direct points to me “Go to Sapa. Do it.” Woah. Note taken.

The street scene is insane. Little shops posted up side by side everywhere; selling shoes, bags, candy, water, clothing and everything else imaginable! Vendors see our huge backpacks, give us curious glances and try to sell us their junk. Motorbikes rule the streets of Hanoi and Vietnam at large. Apparently about 5 years ago there were no cars at all in Vietnam, crazy right? Crossing the street is like a game of Frogger as literally hundreds of motorbikes charge as you without the slightest intention of slowing down. Like I said no one pays attention to the traffic laws, so there is no break in the traffic to let you cross the street. You just have to go, make eye contact with oncoming motorists and dont run; that is what we were told...gotta love SE Asia!!






Finally arrive hostel & the place is a westerner Mecca! It's run by Aussies & it seems every Hanoi traveler is there, not very 'authentic', but in countries where most don't speak English, and after last night's escapade, it is very comforting. Check in and fall into naps that grow into slumber as our first 24 hours in SE Asia settles in...

[Days 108 - 113] Kyoto: Monekys, Castles, Snow and of course Temples!

A a mix just because Im nice...



Garrett's parents were kind enough to give us their timeshare in Kyoto so we had a place to call home for 5 nights, lucky us! Kyoto is spritual and sourrounded by mounains and notoriously colder than Osaka and Tokyo and we feel all these things right as we step off the train! Kyoto is like Kokobunji in the sense that is is quiet, clean and orderly; but different in it's homey small-town vibe, despite being a large city. In our fancy hotel, we quickly get settled and review a city map. Kyoto is littered with castles, temples and all sorts of other interesting things to see!

Day 1 starts out pretty late, but I blame it on the incredibly comfortable beds. After sleeping on all sorts of uncomfortable floors, buses, planes, hostel beds, and benches even, my body jumps at the opportunity to enjoy deep sleep in the comfort of a real bed, ahhh! We decide to checkout the monkey forest and an assortment of temples. With the help of a wrong turn led by me, we found ourselves crossing a long highway bridge that we were definitely not supposed to be on; there were no signs saying this specifically, but the faces of the passing Japanese motorists read it loud and clear. It was all good though, soon we arrived at the river which signified our proximity to the monkey forest.

As I near the peak of the monkey forest hill, I began to hear a familiar classical tune of which the name escapes me. I coulnd't imgaine why or where the music was coming from, but my mind bred enough curiosity to make me sprint to top and find out. As my eyes fixed on the flat summit, I saw a young, bundled up Japanese man feeding 50ish red-face monkeys! The beautiful, serene view of Kyoto that the summit provided was a stark contrast to the the feediing frenzy I was witnessing. Chaos is the only way to describe the scene; monekys fighting, chasing, climbing and screaming evreywhere! One minute you would think the monkeys were actuallly going to kill eachother, but the next minute they would act like nothing ever happened!






From the monkey forest we ventured to about 5 temples. I would describe them all but there isnt enough time in the day to do that, I will let the following pictures do the talking for me, all I can say is that they were incredible.










The following day we headed into the downtown area to see what it was all about. The frigid streets were bustling with tons of Japanese and a tourist here and there. We cruised down many of the small back alleys that you find all over Japan. But they aren't like the back alleys at home, these alleys are littered with all sorts of shops and bars. All of a sudden it hit me that the Chargers were playing in the 2nd round of playoffs today. We hunted down the only English bar in town and ended up watching the American Football game, in an English Pub in Japan...gotta love globalization! Even though it was a disappointing game, it was still a cool feeling watching my home team battle it out all the way across the world.



The next day it snowed pretty much all day which was cool, so we ended up staying indoors and watching sumo wrestling. On day 4 though we decided to rent bicycles for a change. We discovered our map reading skills were not as good as we thought as we got ourselves good and lost for the 1st hour or so. We finally made it to a temple though and just as we parked our bikes it began to snow! Being from Southern California this is a very rare occurance for the both of us so we hurried to snap some photos to capture the rare moment. I dont remember much about that temple in particular but I do remember the next one distinctly. The following temple was made of pure gold and sat directly next to a perfectly still lake. We caught it as the sun was beginning to set, creating a maginicent reflection upon the lake.




Snow from our hotel wındow....a special treat for us Cali boys!

Our final day in Kyoto started off at the castle in the heart of the city. This thing was absolutely massive! I would guess it covered a good 8-10 square blocks of real estate. It was here that we met our pseudo tour guide for the day. Her name is Loraine and she works for JAL (Japanese Airlines). She has been in Japan for a few years and ended up giving us a lot of good insight into the culture. She told us we had to go to check out a temple that overlooked the city on the otherside of town before it closed. So she showed us to the bus stop and told us which line to take and where to get off like the angel she is and that was that. As we climbed the hill to the temple, some Saki sets caught my eye in 1 of the shops. Garrett and I both ended up buying Saki sets which I cant wait to use when I get home!



Our tour guıde Loraıne




Loraine was right when she said we HAD to see this temple, it was definitely my favorite of all that I visited in Japan. It overlooked the entire city, and how fitting that we were catching the sunset over this magnificent city on our last night in Japan. It was a race against the sun to get as many photos as we could, and as we dashed around the place, we couldn't stop discussing how cool of a party we could throw there “OK so I think that the hillside shrine right over there would be perfect for the DJ booth because it overlooks the whole temple.” “YA YA and undrneath that platform would be perfect for lasers and discoballs and all that. Oh shit the GO-GOs! I'd have 1 dancing on that pylon, like 3 on that roof, of course at least 1 on that balcony, and then 1 in that corner, that corner, that corner, that balcony, that corner, that corner, that balcony...”








Ratings & Reactions for Japan [1-10:Terrible-Terrific]
Language Barrier: 9...so hard to communicate
Locals: Outlandishly kınd and stylish- 8
Women: HOT HOT HOT- 9
Food: AMAZING- 8.5
Nightlife: Too much hip hop and hard hard trance- 7

Top 3 highlights:
1)Karaoke
2)Being surprısed by our great friends from home, Todd & Matt
3)Running around downtown Tokyo on NYE dressed as Pikachu

Unique Things to Japan:
1)Toilet seat heaters
2)Vendıng machine beer and cup noodles
3)Being treated lıke a celebrity when you dress-up like gıant yellow cartoon character